Is work scary? Are you thinking of quitting? Mental health expert offers helpful tips
People are now unhappy and overwhelmed with their jobs. Many are stressed and overworked. I’ve called career counseling clients who told me they felt so desperate that they were considering quitting their job and not having a new one to switch to. Others say they are now extremely afraid of work. You’re burned out and spending too many hours. Today a baby boomer announced that she had to find a new employer because her company was forcing her to go to the office. She also moved out of New York City because of COVID, so commuting is no longer possible. All of these fears and worries are not good for your sanity.
“People have the idea that there is always a better life. Just change jobs and you have greener pastures. But so many people are so scared these days. Fear is a product of our past. We need to question our negative thoughts, and if not, fear can control your life. They should acknowledge the feelings, but they don’t have to control our lives, ”says Poppy Jamie, Author of Happy Not Perfect: Improve your mind, challenge your thoughts and free yourself from fear
Entrepreneur and mental health expert. “Changes in my job haven’t changed my mental health.” So where does the fear come from? Fear lives in the past. It was a thing of the past to predict future dangers, she said. “Our brain tries to protect us. However, your current mind is much smarter, so you are using it to deal with the current situation and not your subconscious brain which is the reactive brain. You can tap into the wise side of the brain by stopping and using the Flex Method. “
What does not work
Our thought health is so negative these days. Getting away from the problem often makes the situation frightening. What you did is acknowledge the fear and that will make it harder next time. Fear won. Don’t ignore how you feel and just push yourself through with sand. This can leave us feeling burned out and disconnected from ourselves. Research shows that suppressing feelings makes you feel worse. Everything will always do something wrong, but our strength rests where we direct our attention.
Changes that help
Jamie developed what is known as the Flex Method, which is based on psychological flexibility as a solution. It is a flexible thinking philosophy that is about broadening your perspective, questioning what your inner voice is saying, and moving from living on autopilot to conscious thinking with your whole brain on to help guide our decisions . When we react to life with an anxious state, we are only repeatedly confronted with the same fears and stresses. Taking the time to respond to life with a calmer, more connected, and more curious mind (using the FLEX method) will help you overcome challenges and become stronger in the process. Here are your four steps.
Step 1: connection
The ability to accept our emotions and learn to connect to our real feelings instead of suppressing them is vital. We have the chance to unlock the wisdom that every feeling brings with it. The connecting step reminds you that it is practically impossible to think your way out of a problem and encourages you to get out of it by creating new energies and new thoughts. Albert Einstein said: “We cannot solve our problems with the same mindset with which we created them.”
ACTION: Dance, jump, walk for 20 minutes when you start your day.
Step 2: curiosity
Question your mind and do research before jumping to an assumption or reacting without thinking. First, think about why you have the thoughts that you do. This will lead you to recognize automatic negative thoughts and examine how you have been conditioned to think that way. How has your culture and upbringing influenced the beliefs you hold about yourself today? This step encourages you to think about what your inner critic is telling you and whether these thoughts are even true. Research shows that our memory is completely unreliable, and ours Thoughts are not facts. As you practice staying curious, your awareness will grow and you will remain open to much more helpful information. When we respond to life without curiosity, we get stuck in patterns and are misled by the blind spots we all have.
ACTION: Take a deep breath and pause before reacting. Make room for curiosity.
Step 3: selection
Man has only two basic emotions, love and fear. Make a conscious choice to live a life of self-compassion and optimism. We may not feel that we have a choice to be happy as life challenges us. However, we can always be kind to ourselves and treat each other with endless compassion. We can only learn if we feel relaxed enough to do so. Fear is of no use in the long run and life is a marathon. Self-compassion is a skill anyone can learn.
ACTION: Ask yourself, ‘How would I advise a friend to experience what I am now?’
Step 4: commitment
Things can only change if we commit ourselves to approaching life with purpose, to be the most compassionate version of ourselves, and to live a life that lives up to our values. It takes time and wisdom to make good decisions, and the three steps that lead to them help us unlock the knowledge we have within us.